The Journey Continues!
These past few weeks have highlighted a lot of unfinished business in all aspects of our lives. People from our past have come back to pay a visit, or say hello, dreams have brought memories to the forefront of our minds, and our children are asking more deep and profound questions about life and the Universe. I, for one, have been triggered by my youngest daughter Amy – who as you know, came back to live with me in December.
Whilst the challenges have been testing, she has constantly niggled, and reminded me of my family, well her family also. Who are you dad? Who are your parents, brother and sisters? Why can’t I look for them, and why don’t you want to contact them? Despite my resillient frame of mind, and having decided many years ago that I do not wish to be part of their lives, or them mine, who am I to stop my children from knowing them?
What I know from this journey is we came from somewhere, and were created for a purpose.
Our family make up our DNA, and are part of who we are today. Our children are part of that DNA chain also, and despi
I became angry, and allowed myself to act as my father did with me, I became him. It took me a few hours to realise this, and after sleeping on the idea, last last night I reached out to my aunty, and asked if my parents were still in this realm, if she is in contact with them, and if they would like to speak with their long lost son. A few hours ago I had a reply from her, saying that she is driving to France this weekend to visit them, and will show them my message.
I do not expect anything from this exercise, except perhaps to close the book on the past 50 years of my life – and to continue writing the chapters of my new book of life. I cannot say I am doing this for my children or for me, but no matter the reason the Universe has put me in this position for a reason. Healing is all about forgiveness and letting go – perhaps this is needed to be done in this way, I am not sure, I will wait to see what transpires.
I have peace knowing who I am today, and the love I have inside – and it is very true that love conquers all. I am able to thnk about all of this without guilt, shame or embrassment – we all have to make peace with ourselves in order to ascend.
For sure there is unfinished business – and they too are missing 3 beautiful grandchildren from their lives. It does not matter what has happened, we have all grown and matured, forgiven and healed, and now it is full surrender to the Divine for a peaceful and loving resolution. I hold no malice, for I am who I am today – I heard the voices and callings inside to make the life I have today, and am grateful for that. No matter the answer from them, I have made my intentions known, and the olive branch has been given – I can not and will not judge them.
This is an interesting journey, where we are being asked to go into our deepest corners, never did I believe I would be reaching out to my parents, but here I am. I am proud of what I have done, this is my strength and my wisdom, I have to thank my daughters for constantly reminding me that they also want to know who I am and where I am from. We can all believe we have healed everything we need to, I certainly believed after years of psychotherapy it was – but I guess we have to do this the way the Universe says it has to be.
Anyone who has had a toxic relationship with a family member please take the time to read a book called Toxic Parents – this will answer a million questions and more. It will certainly allow you to help yourself and get to terms with the way you are today, and how you no longer need to accept responsibility for other peoples actions or hangups. It is time to set yourself free from grime, gringe and gunk…if something or someone keeps coming back or appearing in your life, take a look at that and ask yourself what do I have to learn from this.
I will let you know what happens with this reconnection with my parents – I have surrendered the outcome to the Universe, and today I shall send again the energy under the full moon. What is the most important out of all of this? I am not afraid to acknowledge, to revisit, to re-examine, or to confront the nemisis – I have no fear, it can no longer hurt me, it can only make me stronger.
Love, Light and Gratitude